Here’s a little un-romantic breakdown of my marriage. How these posts have changed through the years ahaha…
The reality of my marriage: 7 years married, together for 10 years total with 1 super cool kid. Met at 20 and 21 years of age. Created company and got married at 24 and 25 years old. Baby at 28 and 29 years old. What’s next? What more do you want of me?! ahaha
2010. 1st year: “My wife, my husband” ewe. I cringed when I heard it. We were only 24 and 25 and sounded and felt like a 40 year olds! Like everyone says, absolutely the hardest year of marriage…. and you only hear it after the first year of marriage! I always heard of this “honeymoon stage” that we still had to book. Truth. For us it was a year filled with so many challenges not too many people face. I had just moved to Italy, we started our brand Happiness and you can only imagine how much stress and work came with that alone. I didn’t just marry him…apparently his family was in the package too! 2 for 1 special? Always read the fine print. And I must say, I’ve never met a family more… how do I put it so sweetly, “involved” if you will. Michael and I were more like business partners, not a newly married couple of only 24 and 25 years old. I didn’t know what being a “wife” meant? I don’t cook, I have a house keeper… so I’m a bad wife? I struggled with making up my own version of a modern wife that can make her husband happy despite cooking and ironing his underwear. Happy ending my ass. Through it all… our hearts never stopped beating for one another. He was mine, I was his and we would face every obstacle in our way like we were at war with the world. I always felt and hope to always feel proud and lucky to be married to Michael Scarpellini.
2011. 2nd year: So much LOVE, hot, wild, passionate…This year is LIFE! We survived our families, the stress of work, brand new home and all of the challenges of moving to a new country and adopting the culture, the language, my over bearing and overly involved in-laws. We overcame all of the obstacles and won the war of the first year and now it’s honeymoon time! We made it. Yes, we took our honeymoon the year after we got married because we were too busy with work. Work first, play later was always the motto. 2nd year as husband and wife and now I don’t mind the sound of it. We are imagining additions to our happy little family, the future is bright and we are young, powerful and full of so much AMORE!! Blissful. Inspirational. I love him more than life, he loves me even more than that. Seeing the world together, soaking up every positive emotion for one another, inspiring each other every day to become better people. We are a power couple, and we know it. I love waking up next to him, driving to work together, working side by side, being his business partner, coming home to him and playing the new modern wife role that I finally got down and that he appreciates because its different than the rest and works well for us. I think we are ready for a baby… so we get a puppy and name him Zeppelin.
2012. 3rd year: We are parents to a four legged son Zeppelin who really is a red toy poodle. We find out we make really good parents… our dog is well trained, doesn’t beg, potty trained from day 2, he is so well mannered. But I want a real human baby. We are needy, stressed out, almost depressed. I want a baby. It’s in my head everyday and we are filled with so many disappointments every month. 3 miscarriages. It’s tough and seems like it will never happen for us. Our friends are having kids… what about us? Our friends look so beautiful with their families. Will we ever have ours? I hate the dinner table with just us two. I love you, but I’m not whole. A piece of me is missing, an empty hole in my heart (and my uterus.) I’m not enough. He’s not enough. We want more out of each other. Sad year for us. Even through all the downfall… I look at him and he makes me happy. We love each other too much to let “us” die.
2013. 4th year: Suffered last miscarriage and we finally seek help. We are finally pregnant Wooohoooo! This one actually stuck. These hormones that I have to take are messing with me…. I am crazy but he still loves me, like crazy. I feel whole. Complete. Now I am cherishing my time with just us two. The dinner table is a happy place with just us two plus a tiny human in my belly. I am appreciative of this man and I look at him everyday and pray our baby boy is even 20% of what he is. He’s a good man. I married a very good man. How he took care of me… only my close friends and family know. I always knew he would make an amazing dad, this year confirmed it. As my belly grows and grows I watch us transform also into stronger beings, together. We don’t only have each other, we have something bigger than us and we haven’t been this excited to welcome something so scary and new in a long time. This year was full of care, excitement, happiness and at the same time ironically sad to say goodbye to just us two. We will forever nevermore be “just the two of us…” but its all goooood.
2014 5th year: Hello, Zeyd. The dinner table is now set for three. We are a happy little family. Our marriage is full of love. We feel blessed, thankful for everything… even the mailman. We are just over the moon on cloud 9 just happy. Our baby boy is LIFE! Real true happiness! The man I married is a father now…of my baby. Sounds funny but it takes a while to register. I would look at pictures from 5 years ago and it felt like it was a lifetime ago. Everything happened in a blur. Only it didn’t. My husband is my baby daddy, and he is the best father hands down! He’s the man of our house… taking care of all of us. And I too have a new modern role that I need to make up to work for us… Mom life. I’m a wife. I’m a mom and life is just making sense to me now. My little family is everything and nothing else matters. It’s simple and magical. It’s everything we have ever wanted. Our days and nights are filled with so many hugs and kisses. Everything is beautiful. We are complete. This is life. We are living. Oh, we forgot about Zeppelin. Our well mannered, potty trained dog who now leaves us pee in the kitchen every morning since we had our human baby.
2015. 6th year: I’m in love with my baby boy, head over heels in love! I read about this before I had Zeyd.… about moms who have boys and forget about their husbands. Guilty. I love my husband but I love my son so so so so so much. I start to feel powerful, so powerful I don’t need a man. I’m working harder than I’ve ever worked before, my son is inspiring me, I am driven, I want more and I want the best for myself and for my son. Nothing or no one can hold me back. I know I can be a single mom and still be happy if I wasn’t happy anymore. (thank G-O-D it never got to that point but its still a security and thought I had) We start to stress each other out. Here we go again. We are bi-polar this year. Happy, blah. Happy, blah. I don’t like blah, I’ve never liked blah. So I put up a wall and focus on my work, my kid, myself, and then him.I was annoyed this year. I wasn’t the best wife I could be. I know it, I admit it. He was also in a bad place. Couldn’t find his balance between dad life and CEO. Being the competitive kind of man Michael is, having found my balance before him, his frustration was taken out on me rather than putting that energy to find out what he wants and to go get it. How Un-Happiness of us. 😉 I try and help Michael find his balance, a hobby, anything to help him find himself again… so most importantly he’s happy and stops breaking my balls. Hopeless case. Two passionate people like us… when its good its so fucking good. When its bad… oh lord help.
2016. 7 year itch: Do we even like one another? Can you still stand me? I can’t stand you. Do we ditch this or make it work? Do we keep going or does the story end here? No one could tell from the outside we were suffering because the thing is Michael and I before all are business partners and parents to a super cool kid and despite all the internal issues, we are very good at playing those roles. We only laugh and are happy when we are working or with our kid. “Just the two of us” sucks again. (And how many tears we cried when we thought that would be over) Dinners without Z is basically a business meeting ending in an argument. Mornings are arguments, nights are arguments. I start to find myself more, throw myself into workouts and fitness while Michael occupies himself with a new business that I want no part of. We drive to work separately, go out with our friends separately, get involved in different business projects separately… you still wouldn’t be able to tell we were bad because even when we are suffering we are still better than most couples. We finally have “the talk” it’s the hardest conversation we’ve ever had. Outcome: deep down we will always love each other, we are powerful together and if everything before didn’t break us down, we won’t do it to ourselves. We seek therapy and only became closer by laughing at the things the therapist would make us do. It was ridiculous. Now, I really focus on my husband and his happiness… about damn time, selfish me. I take him to hot yoga, sign up to Equinox together, involve him in my projects, take time for him… I am his wife again. Half way into the year and we are stronger than ever, happier than ever and ready for any challenge. I’m glad the 7 year itch is over. We got over the bumps in the road. I’m proud of “us” that we didn’t walk away when it got tough. I know and I’ve always known there is no better man out there than Michael Scarpellini. Our story doesn’t end in “if only….” it starts here… as a remarkable joint power. Here’s to another itch, bump, I’ll take it all… start and end with you, Mr. Scarpellini. <3 Your WIFE.